Blur

           Greetings, you are one of the handful of people that read this crap. I have no idea why you read my blog but I haven’t wrote one for a while and I don’t have much to do so here's what's going in my world.

           As you may all know, I was accepted to UC Irvine. This is one of the biggest news I got this year. The school itself only took 2.5 years for me to finish but it took me 4 years to transfer. During those 4 years, it was pretty stressful. Many doubted me. My parents thought my life's over because I didn't get into Harvard like his friend's sons and daughters. My friends “jokingly” asked me frequently, “how long are you gonna take?” which really means “i am doubting you'll get in any time soon”. Since so many people doubted me, I started to doubt myself which leads to what I want to talk about today. Let me lay this shit down here. There's a old saying, “if you play around shit, you'll eventually get shit on you”. When my dad told me this, I used to say “man don’t worry, I’ll wear a rain coat and boots or something” but like many other times, my dad was right again. I understand exactly what he tried to tell me. The meaning I was able to get out of this old saying is 'if you hangout with the wrong crowd, you're bound to become one of them'. Think about it, if you hangout with k town gang bangers, you ARE probably a k town gang banger. If you hangout with fobs, there's a high chance you are one of them. I had a talk with Joe the other day about this and I came to a conclusion that 'we need to hangout with more quality people'. Most likely, most of my old friends are currently not happy with me. I have not been hanging out with them, maybe even avoiding them. To them, it may seem like I'm an asshole who abandon their “homies” but to me, it's just life that's occurring. I need to keep moving forward and I don't need ANYTHING to slow me down. This might sound selfish to some of you but I would have to disagree. If you think about it, all the choices you make, well... you make them. There's going to be lots of people telling you what to do, but in the end you make the final decision. One day, I was just laying down on my bed, listening to sappy music under the moon light, faded, and I zoned out to a deep thought. “I am alone in this world.” So what I must do if figure out what's best for ME. Fuck... I just became an asshole. I used to get yelled at my parents because I was being stupidly nice to my friends and now look at me, thinking like an asshole and pretty much making a statement to ONLY look out for myself. I honestly don't even know what the hell is going on in my head. I have no idea what I just wrote but I need to clear my head. Fuck.... get your shit striaght benny boy, you don't have time for this shit.