The reason why I made this blog is because i want to record whatever I'm doing or thinking at the time in words. That's what i would say if i was being dishonest with you. The real reason why i made this blog is because by making this blog, it would get me to start doing things that actually benefit me in the future. There are couple things i want to do. First thing on the list is to read the bible, genesis to revelation, the complete package. The reason why i want to read the bible is simple, knowledge. Most of you are having a horrible time understanding what i'm writing, i understand, because im having difficult timing writing this simple blog.
Now, if my grammar is this terrible, why not read a book that helps my grammar instead of the bible? why the bible out of these million other books? well first of all, it is called a good book. secondly, i hate reading, i cant think of any other books beside Mein Kampf and the bible to read to even remotely keep me interested in. I'm pretty sure im not ready to kill 6 million jews for no good reason when i am a jew lover myself. dear baby jesus, they are God chosen people for SURE. anyways, back to my bible reading plans, i just feel like everyone should read the bible atleast once, not because they're christian, but just purely because it is THE good book. There's many stories, theories, philosophical crap to relate to our current lives which i think will eventually benefit us at one point. And people talk about the bible all the time, jesus did this, moses did that, david killed a giant, samson killed like 2 million with a cow bone or something, all that juicy stuff. there's this one other reason why im going to start reading the bible but i wont get into that right now, it's gonna take couple days to write about that... soo yea. Here's to my first blog post and let's see how this thing goes. XXooOOxx
You make sho sho horny. I look forward toward your posts, bitch. Heehoho shmokey shmokey!!!!!
ReplyDelete<3
I could think of a ton of books that would be to better read other than the bible, but then again, I NEVER READ. lulz
ReplyDeleteDude, Davy. There are a lot of things to look forward to in the Bible.
ReplyDeleteFor instance, the theory that God made the earth in 7 days flat (6 actually considering he didn't give us the ability to fly and turn invisible because he was being a lazy bitch and probably hungover from the 4Loko he drank on the 7th).
The stories, oh man the stories. Like when God completely wiped out the Amalekites for the lulz, or that Songs of Solomon are mostly about boobies (1:13, 2:6, 4:5, 4:16, 5:4, 7:7-8 . . . and 8:10. Okay the whole thing is about boobies), or just read Judges 15:15-16. Total badassery. That's what the Bible is.
Even the philosophic aspects are simultaneously most excellent and brilliant for any barbaric racist or happy misogynist. Take this lovely verse from Deuteronomy 25:11-12 for example:
"If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from the assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity."
So in the end, reading the Bible would only reaffirm those beliefs. You get what you take out of it. But when God asks you to do a book report and you get it wrong, don't be mad if he sends you to the 9-levels-of-fire first-person-shooter.
A Good and Happy book might be The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Pierce - a 4.5 star review on Amazon (compared to the 3.5 star review of the Bible d'awww)!